All of us face different adversities, traumas, stress, work pressure and suffer through personal losses in life. Everyone of us has to fight their own battles in life. Some of us give in to these situations and let our emotions consume us, while some of us bounce back and in some cases, come as a stronger and more sorted individual. It might look like a miracle but this is not the case. This is nothing but the “Resilience”.

Now the question is, what “Resilience” means? Is it something we are born with?

Resilience is the ability of a person to withstand and cope with the adversities, failures and downturns and bounce back and grow amidst these situations, even when it may look like this is the worst thing possible that can happen. Being resilient does not mean that resilient people are immune to feel stress, emotional upheaval and suffering. Resilient people deal with these emotions, fight with them and eventually come out of them as a better version of themselves.

Now, coming to the second question, nobody is really born with resilience. This is something which develops in an individual with time depending upon their personal experiences and their behavior towards the various incidents happening in their life. It varies from person to person. Resilience isn’t a fixed trait. Flexibility, perseverance and adaptability can help people build resilience by changing their mindset towards certain things.

Factors helpful in building resilience

Some factors that are helpful in building resilience are:

1. Knowing our strength: If we know our strengths and are able to be aware of them even in the worst case scenario, then that boost up our confidence and make us feel more capable of moving on positively in life.

2. Developing self-awareness: Understanding the patterns of how you respond to stress and adversity is a major step towards developing resilience. Knowing your weaknesses also helps you in improving.

3. Acceptance and adaptability: The most important factors for developing resilience are acceptance and adaptability. We should have the ability to accept whatever bad has happened and adapt ourselves accordingly.

4. Being optimistic: When we are optimistic, we tend to feel more in control of our outcomes. Focusing on what you can do to solve a problem rather than crying over it helps you build resilience.

5. Strong support system: We all know that people we are surrounded with play a vital role in shaping our personality. So, if we have a strong and positive support system, it helps a lot. So try to build real and strong connections rather than ones which are just for having fun.

According to Stockholm Resilience Center,

Resilience is the capacity of a system, be it an individual, a forest, a city or an economy, to deal with change and continue to develop. It is about how humans and nature can use shocks and disturbances like a financial crisis or climate change to spur renewal and innovative thinking.

7 Cs of Resilience

Pediatrician Ken Ginsburg, developed the 7 Cs model of resilience to help kids and teens build the skills to be happier and more resilient. These are following:

1. Competence:

A young individual needs to be seen when he is doing something right and to be given opportunities to develop specific skills. For example, if a student in any class displays a particular passion for something or aptitude for a particular skill, activity or sport, we need to recognize it and encourage him.

2. Confidence:

From childhood, one should be taught to have firm belief in one’s own abilities. It helps in building the confidence of an individual. Having confidence is not only helpful in building resilience but also helps us in various other aspects of life.

3. Connection:

As discussed above, a strong support system with whom a person can feel connected to, helps a lot to build resilience. Close ties to family, friends and community provide a sense of security and belonging.

4. Character:

The foundation of our character is laid from the childhood. Having a fundamental sense of right and wrong from the childhood, helps in making wise choices, contribute to the nation and world, and become responsible adults.

5. Contribution:

Having a sense of purpose is a powerful motivator. If an individual feels like he is able to contribute to one’s community and nation, it reinforces positive reciprocal relationships.

6. Coping:

We should develop the ability to cope with and break down seemingly impossible problems and challenges into smaller, achievable pieces. Also avoid things that trigger extreme anxiety and just let some things go.

7. Control:

Developing an understanding of internal control helps individuals act as problem solvers instead of victim of circumstances. When individuals learn that they can control the outcomes of their decisions, they are more likely to view themselves as capable and confident.

Famous people who have shown resilience

When we look at the life of celebrities, we often feel that , “Wow! I wish I had a life like that.” What we fail to see is the story or struggles behind their success. Many of them have had a dark past which they had to overcome to reach at the place where they are at today by acquiring resilience. Some of them are:

· Walt Disney (Was forced to dissolve his first company, went bankrupt and survived on dog food before achieving success. Went on to be nominated for 59 academy awards and is recognized as a great animator till now).

· JK Rowling (Was divorced and struggling financially with a child to support. Rejected by 12 publishers at first, her books went on to become a global success and she became the first billionaire author.)

· Dhirubai Ambani (A gas station attendant who didn’t let his circumstances dictate his destiny. Till date, he is known as one of India’s greatest entrepreneurs.)

· Akshay Kumar (A waiter who cleaned tables but never gave up on his dreams, is today, one of the most bankable actors of the Bollywood.)

There are many more who built resilience, believed in themselves and chased their dreams and are living legends for all of us today.

Remember this quote from Michelle Obama, “Grief and resilience live together.”

Hope this was worth your time and added some value to your day today. Stay tuned for more